Recently found in a pile in front of our building’s mailboxes: the new issue of the magazine Hybrid Mom. There was a smiling blonde on the cover, wearing a cute-yet-sensible pink long-sleeved T-shirt over a black sports bra. She stood on some random stretch of Pacific seashore and held a volleyball.

Of course I grabbed a copy as soon as I saw it, but I gotta say: what a disappointment. It appears that the hybridization in question is of cultural strains of female H. sapiens: (mom x office lady) or (mom x athlete), for instance. (mom x savvy internet user) seems to be another.

Whatever. I know for damn sure that I am not the only person who saw that cover and hoped it was a magazine for transgenic women. Imagine the features! “What to Expect When You’re Expecting to Incubate Your First Clutch of Eggs,” maybe, or “Menopause and Metamorphosis.” God, and the monthly romantic-advice column…. The mind boggles.

This is why publishing is going down the tubes, kids. Mark me well.