Ladies and gentlemen, I am sad to have to announce that Satire is dead. Her last words are unprintable in this family-oriented blog.

In lieu of flowers, her family requests that donations be made to The Onion. Satire’s cousin Slapstick notes that the more donations The Onion receives, the fewer hair-removal and computer-dating ads it has to run: “Once you get past about the sixth page it pretty much looks like the Village Voice,” she notes. “If her death meant that the Onion could get its focus back, it would mean so much to us all. It would have made her so proud.”

[Via Neil Gaiman.]