strange radiation: the pool of radiance archive

Adventures with an unreliable narrator.

Oct 11 06: bunny, bunny

I can’t remember who I was promising to show this to, so I’m putting it here instead: the Morbid Tendencies Unfortunate Animal of the Month Club. Had I stacks of cash suitable for burning on such things, this is something I’d burn it on, perhaps by subscribing my favorite niece and nephew to the service.

Horrible mutant stuffy toys: some with too many heads or limbs, and some with too few; some with mismatched features, and some with reclaimed animal skulls and/or other parts where you’d expect something insipid and cuddly to be. Or maybe it’s a cuddly bunny with horrible teeth! And if you get the deluxe package, the fun doesn’t stop there:

The creatures at the $50 level are the very best efforts I produce, and they will be “wrapped,” like a present from your really, really cool Aunt that you don’t actually have. It may be packed in leaves, wrapped in an odd length of fabric, a placemat, yards and yards and yards of string, joss paper—you just never know, and it won’t be the same twice. There will be a note from the Unfortunate Animal to you, written on god-knows-what, and it’s quite likely not to make a great deal of sense, or may be written in verse (Unfortunate Animals are very odd creatures, after all); unwrapping it will be an adventure in a different way each time.

Ha.

But for the moment, I have no such surfeit of funds; and so I shall have to content myself by getting the delightful children in my life cuddly stuffed versions of the unspeakable things that wait to plunge the world of men into chaos and flame. Because I am a loving uncle.

Commentary

Me, me! It was me! Thanks - this is GREAT STUFF!!!

posted by Your Cousin, Oct 19 06 1:34 PM

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