strange radiation: the pool of radiance archive

Adventures with an unreliable narrator.

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Jan 3 04: oh-four: take two

I am resisting the urge to spoil the beginning of this fine new year. I am turning away from the temptation to add to the sum of the world’s anger. I defy the impulse to fill the world with vengeance and spite instead of forgiveness and love. I am hanging on by my fingernails. I would love to curse you, whoever you are. I suppressed my flickering fantasies of committing horrible violence upon your person, preferably involving long and vicious blades, as I stomped back to the subway yesterday afternoon. I rejected the urge to dream up an agent of karmic retribution; to throw it upon the trail of your benighted soul by showing it the shards of my now-worthless credit cards.

Yesterday you stole my wallet out of the locker at the gym, but I will not hate. You emptied it of its cash and left it at the other end of the building by the service elevators, but I will not hate. You cost me fifty bucks and drove me to cancel my credit and ATM cards and it will take me days to get new ones, but I will not hate.

Every day is a blank canvas. Every day is a new year’s first turning. Every day is a chance to make the world more like it should be. The world is too full of darkness as it is. I will not hate.

(Goatfucker.)

I will not hate.

Commentary

Upon further reflection: Had he taken my iPod, which was also in my locker, all bets would be off. So I guess we should both consider ourselves fortunate.

posted by Andrew, Jan 4 04 12:18 AM

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