strange radiation: the pool of radiance archive

Adventures with an unreliable narrator.

Dec 17 03: ethical moment

Ah yes. Christmas in New York, that joyful time of year that raises questions in our hearts about things that really matter. Questions like: May I employ a cattle-prod while attempting to walk through Midtown, so long as I only use it on tourists?

Discuss.

Commentary

No. You may not. You too were once new to this city. (She says as a smug native.)

posted by Sari (of course), Dec 17 03 1:49 PM

That’s as may be, but even when I was new to this city, I endeavored to be a part of its vitality. Not an obstacle to it. These people who link arms four-abreast and amble…ever…so…aimlessly…down…the…sidewalks make me insane. Cattle prods are probably too good for them, to be honest, but I try to maintain a sense of hospitality towards visitors to our fair city.

posted by Andrew, Dec 17 03 6:32 PM

Four abreast, check. Slowly and aimlessly, check. You forgot to mention their habit of stalling and milling at chokepoints: corners, turnstiles, tollbooths, doorways, cash registers, narrow corridors, and the tops and bottoms of escalators.

Also, asking the stationmaster questions that could easily be answered by looking at the map right next to the tollbooth, when some poor soul is waiting to ask them to help sort out the ticket-buying process for them, and a train is pulling in.

Also, setting their swank-department-store shopping bags on the seat next to them when elderly passengers are having to stand.

It makes you want to slap them with 8.5”x11” dayglo stickers like ones the Sanitation Dept. puts on your windshield when you forget to move your car, only these would say:

SPACE IS COOPERATIVE.
MOVEMENT IS COOPERATIVE.
TRAFFIC FLOW IS COOPERATIVE.

WATCH WHAT’S GOING ON
AROUND YOU, DOOFUS!

posted by Teresa Nielsen Hayden, Dec 17 03 10:56 PM

I especially like the dayglo sticker idea because those damn things require sandblasting to remove. Can’t you picture it? Sidewalk dermabrasion stands would start fighting with hot-dog and falafel carts for space on the side streets.

posted by Andrew, Dec 18 03 2:58 PM

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