Strange Radiation Archive
« lucky number 37 | Main | paging encyclopedia brown… »
Aug 8 03: rain-->pour
Well, the prolonged dry spell is over. Not here in the City; we’re all feeling mildly moldy around these parts, after what seems like three weeks of unrelenting thunderstorms and general sogginess. I speak of the employment factor.
I’ve been re-assimilated by the textbook people I worked with about 5 years ago. They’re alarmingly eager to give me all the temp work I can stand. And the pay’s even good.
It pains me to admit it, but I have mixed feelings about my imminent return to solvency. I mean, sure, it’ll be great to be making enough to pay the rent and put money away for later. But I wonder how long it will take before I get embittered—again—about the edpub game, for one thing. I am sad that it’ll be harder to drop everything and go to the beach for the afternoon. (That part gets remarkably little sympathy from those around me. I don’t get it.) I wonder if have bitten off more than I can chew—my dance card is seriously full for the next month or three.
But most difficult of all is that it marks the end of 15 months (!) of ‘leaving myself time to write.’ The reality is that I didn’t rise to the opportunity I created for myself. I have a half-dozen exciting story ideas rattling around in my head, but something about the way the wide-open days roared in my ears made it impossible to actually do anything with any of them. I spent more time than I’d care to admit staring out the window, hoping that this would be the day that I’d be ready to say something. I’m hoping the busier days will get me creatively juiced in a way that the ‘world enough, and time’ approach didn’t.
If the amount of new blather on this blog is any indication, maybe I’m right. Louise, are you still out there somewhere? Please come home.